How to Create Healthy and Lasting Relationships

January 26th, 2012 by admin Leave a reply »

The ultimate goal of the relationship is the most loving person you can be. -Robert Holden, Ph.D.

As humans, we like to have friends and loved ones nearby. We are part of a community, a group of people, and we need to contact if you want to be accepted and respected by others in our group. Once we are born we begin to create the relationships. We talk about our parents and family members every day. As we grow, join us to create new relationships with friends and teachers at school, with others in our community with the people in the workplace and in each group to decide, we are.

We have to be happy, for happiness in ourselves and to establish ourselves in this world. Relationships are the most important part of happiness. Their relationships are what will help you to grow and the person you want to be. Every relationship has a purpose, and it is your responsibility to find it, creating good relationships that enrich your life. Normally, the purpose of a relationship is a gift or exchange. It could be a gift from the company, a gift of unconditional love, a gift of forgiveness, the gift of romance, or an exchange of ideas, laughter and more.

If we do not know how to communicate our thoughts, feelings and emotions, it is likely that we will create adverse relationships, creates misery. Good communication includes not only about active listening and it is to communicate these things to get the right message about how the message is understood, disturbances in communication and much more. Depending on how we communicate, the message or the way we express ourselves, that we create the relationship.

We can make good relations if we learn to communicate and express ourselves. It works like this:

- Accept and love yourself completely. Their words and deeds reflect who you are. If you are not happy with yourself, you will express your dissatisfaction and frustration for others. The foundation of any relationship is love and respect, and if you cannot love and respect and do not you, love and respect for others. If you are happy with yourself, others around you can be happy.

- Express your past and heal your life. If you wear unhealthy feelings and emotions of past relationships, it is likely that they bring to the new relationship. It is very important to forgive you (and others), and let your past relationship before a new, especially to begin a romantic relationship. The past is done and we cannot do anything to change it, but if we do not allow it to go, our past experience now in our control and ruin our lives.

- Be responsible. Be responsible for your life, take control of things, take it and let go of what you cannot control means. You can be yourself, but not others. Begin the way you look and feel about this person and your relationship with him / her to have to change.

- Listen more and talk less about. Hearing means conscious attention with an open mind and heart. If you keep eye contact, listen, be aware of body language and try to hear the message implied. Do not interrupt the other person if she / he speaks. If he / she finished speaking, is to ask questions for clarification. People want to feel understood. If you listen and understand what others think they are more willing to listen?

- Use the right words. The words are the best way to improve or destroy a life. If you support or defensive, you may not know, what you say or how your words can hurt or injure another person. You can forget the words, but they are usually the feeling that your words may have caused. Explain how a situation makes you feel, say, “You always spoil everything if you’re late.” “I feel worried when you’re late,” instead of saying it helps the other person, Your feelings do not understand, in response to an attack.

- Do not take anything personally. What other people think or say about you does not matter if you do not believe it. If you feel offended by the comments of other people or activities, it is because your beliefs with what they say match or not. This is not what they say or do, it’s how you think and feel about it. What people do or say is to their advantage, they speak or act, to think to themselves, not for you.

Show your interest in person. When the other person feels that you are really interested in getting to know you, they will share their feelings with you. Concentrate on how they feel, what they think, what they expect from you, what makes them happy or unhappy. The more you know about the other person, the more you can be the relationship.

Speak your truth from your heart. Open your heart and talk about how you feel and what you relationship. Tell want the truth, it does not matter, it is uncomfortable. Ask yourself the following question: What do I want him / her that I did not get? Ask what you want! If you do not ask, you will be dissatisfied and the risk of a failed relationship. And ask if you have, you can get a YES and have a wonderful relationship. The worst thing you get is a no, but you’d already have one.

Give, receive what you want. What you give is what you get. If you want to receive love from others, give them love, if you want to be cared for by others, initial support, if you want to be an important element in their lives, to show that they are important to you. Think about what you give to the relationship, you give, you get what you want?

Looking for solutions. Focus on solutions rather than the problem. If you solve a problem relating to the problem you are trying make it big and you can end up frustrated and angry. Dedicate yourself to find a solution to work together with the other person. Write down all the ideas the two of you have and work on the best. If you are angry for a break and come back when you feel better. Be honest with yourself, how you feel. You feel better when you feel comfortable.

If you are in an adversarial relationship or are dangerous to ask for help! There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Talk to your family / friends and let them know that you need help. If you do not feel good to talk with your family, a counselor in your community or social program. There is always help if you ask. The worst thing you can do is suffer in silence and not talk.

Remember that every relationship is unique. They share and learn different things from each relationship. Good communication enhances our relationship, and you grow and develop your relationships. We need them to be happy. The joy of the relationship is in support of unconditional love, accepting people as they are, together, show respect and be truly present to another. Also, remember that nobody can make you happy, but everyone can encourage you to be happy.

Patricia Anaya is an author, speaker, life coach and creative director. It is a transformational coach and help people discover the greatness within them to create a wonderful life.

Her new children’s book “The Three Powers, Magic, was released on 11/11/11 to love you (http://www.TheThreePowers.com) the three powers, the magic of love. Children and young people the principles of love, themselves and develop their own ability to make friends and be happy. Patricia is the creator of brainywoman.com and has a passion for projects to help create the people, especially women and children. “Brainywoman.com opens many possibilities, affect the lives of women and contribute to the self-esteem.

Be sure to visit http://www.brainywoman.com most inspiring and practical things like finding them. “Learn how the life you deserve by creating your words, thoughts, feelings and emotions.”

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